FREE ESSAY ON M&M'S

M&M'S

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and
robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I 
hold M&M duels. 
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them
together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is 
the loser, and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. 
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue
ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that 
the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is
the modern candy and snack-food world. 
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter
than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, 
but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species
continues to adapt to its environment. 
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.
Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I 
pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.,
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 
card reading, Please use this M&M for breeding purposes. 
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of
plain M&Ms. I consider this grant money. I have 
set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover
the True Champion. 
There can be only one.