FREE ESSAY ON SEVERAL ESSAYS INSIDE

SEVERAL ESSAYS INSIDE

Sample Work 
Unedited Version: 
Unedited version will contain poor writing and uncorrected typos. To view the edited
version and critique, please click here. 
Questions:
1- Please discuss the factors, both professional and personal, influencing the career
decisions you have made that, in turn, have led you to your current position. What are
your career goals for the future, and why is now the appropriate time to pursue an MBA at
XXX? How will you avail yourself of the resources at the XXX to achieve these goals? (3
pages or 1000 words) 
2- Describe a personal achievement that has had a significant impact on your life. In
addition to recounting this achievement, please analyze how the event has changed your
understanding of yourself and how you perceive the world around you. (3 pages or 1000
words) 
3.Optional Essay 
The Admissions Committee believes the required essay topics address issues that are
important in understanding your candidacy for the MBA Program at XXX. If there are
extenuating circumstances or concerns affecting your application that you feel the
Admissions Committee should be aware of, please elaborate here (e.g., your academic
performance as an accurate measure of your potential, unexplained gaps in your work
experience) (3 pages or 1000 words) 
1-PAST CAREER DEVELOPMENT AND FUTURE GOALS 
Have you ever seen, heard of or witnessed any of the following things? 
-- The surface of the sea littered with dead sheep. 
-- A domestic waste landfill explosion leading to a number of deaths due to the resultant
flood of waste? 
-- Tea vendors offering radiation-contaminated tea for half-price? 
-- A little girl's death resulting from her fall through an open sewage manhole in her
school garden? 
-- Radioactive waste sold to unsuspecting scrap dealers, causing their deaths. 
-- A twenty year-old tanker breaking into pieces, spilling hundreds of tons of crude oil
and killing sea life. 
Unfortunately, such environmental disasters have become common place in Turkey. 
Concerned about such situations, and aware of the insensitivity of the authorities
towards our environment and health, I sought to learn ways to prevent these types of
disasters. At the age of fifteen, I decided to focus my studies on environmental
sciences, in order to equip myself with the technical tools I would need to do just that.

I went on to earn a Master's degree in environmental sciences, subsequently attending a
professional international management certificate program in order to gain management
perspective. 
In order to make use of my technical knowledge and management skills in an effective way,
I was aware of the fact that I should start working in a large company that would in turn
would provide me insight experience from various industries and the international
business arena. 
I have now worked in the energy and environment group of Koc Holding headquarters, the
first and biggest diversified conglomerate, for nearly two years as a project engineer,
mainly responsible for environment and energy sector investments of our holding
companies. 
This work position gave me an opportunity to interact with businessmen from all over the
world which expanded my international perspective. Working with American partners and
English consultants, I gleaned the subtle meaning of being a professional. Though it was
unusual for a young associate to be a representative for my company at such events, I am
proud to say that my outstanding work performance allowed me to seize the opportunity to
attend various meetings with local and international governmental bodies such as OPIC,
IFC and the World Bank that increased my self-confidence and improved my management
skills. 
While working in various business lines, such as automotive industry, consumer durables
and energy sector, I have realized that the root cause of many environmental problems is
financial. I believe that many people in the environmental sector are so ignorant or
insensitive that they will cheat customers to increase profits. Furthermore, businesses
do not prioritize environmental investments and, as a result, insufficient funds are
allocated to adequately prevent problems. For instance, with a population over eight
million people, Istanbul, the biggest city in Turkey does not have a properly operating
sewage system, and in most of the areas waste water is discharged directly to Bosphorus.

Ultimately, I am interested in helping to solve my country's problems by starting my own
environmental services business in Turkey, serving both local and international customers
giving cost effective and appropriate solutions differing from waste management to safety
management. 
WHY MBA AND XXX SCHOOL? 
Despite my experience, I still lack some important knowledge and management
experiences/skills, especially in finance, marketing and entrepreneurship. I also miss
important knowledge of American environment. It is essential that I master these skills
since dealing with aspects of international business will be an integral part of my job
as an entrepreneur. 
The XXX School's MBA program is the bridge where I am and where I want to be. 
The inventiveness and uniqueness of the XXX School's both entrepreneurial and finance
programs impressed me. I believe that I will increase my practical knowledge of
entrepreneurship from interacting with my XXX School classmates. I value the fact that at
the XXX School, entrepreneurial education does not stop at the classroom but continues
through internships and extracurricular activities. I feel that a business school for
entrepreneurs should balance a dose of theory with real-world application. The XXX
School's curriculum and hands-on experiences through associations, internships and the
management field study provide this balance, as demonstrated by the variety and success
of its alumni. 
I am also drawn to XXX School because of its emphasis on teamwork and technology. XXX
School's MBA program proposes such exciting courses and programs as High Technology
Entrepreneurship, International Finance,12-week field application projects, global
immersion program directed to teach thinking and acting globally. 
Further, the XXX School's flexible entrepreneurial program allows students to choose
electives from 200 courses that will allow me to tailor my course of study directly to my
career interests. 
After a long search I found in XXX a top quality business school, able to provide me with
the opportunities to gain the knowledge I need for my future in addition to putting me in
contact with a diverse student environment and ensure my perception of American values.
Moreover, my background and my desire to succeed will allow me to flourish in the XXX
program. 
I liked the alumni network and student clubs present at XXX.XXX has one of the strongest
and largest alumni networks with 70,000 alumni in more than 130 countries of which I
would like to be honored to be a member of. 
I count very much on earning a XXX School MBA degree to help me strengthen both my
finance knowledge and entrepreneurial skills, necessary to enable me to secure a position
as an environmental specialist in a multinational American-based firm; this, in turn,
will prepare me to accomplish my long term ambition of starting my own company and
helping Turkey improve its environmental record. 
I am now on my way to the next step in my career planning which involves receiving an MBA
degree from XXX. My experience and technical knowledge guided my success during each new
venture I attempted. These early accomplishments boosted my confidence that I would soon
be closer to my goal of being a successful young entrepreneur. 
I believe I am on the right path to achieve my goals. I now anxiously await the next
phase in my development. I know that my skills along with my experience will continue to
aid in achieving my long-term objective. 
2-When I was an undergraduate, I was asked, as part of a class, to select a project on
which I wished to work with supervisor whom I was interested in studying with. I had
chosen to study with the Head of the University's Environmental Engineering Department on
a project named Environmental Risk Assessment of Hazardous Materials. After the
earthquake disaster that hit Turkey, causing approximately 30,000 people to die, the
State Planning Organization of Turkey has used the model we developed in the project to
determine the risks posed by materials spilled around the region devastated by the
earthquake. 
In addition to working with me on my project, my supervisor also provided me with other
important assistance. My supervisor was a person who not only lectured about the issue at
hand but also shared his vast knowledge about the practical experience of his
professional and personal life. His main goal was to shape his students into
well-educated and socially active engineers with strong personal and professional ethics.
He took me to many seminars, fairs, and conferences in order to give me the background
necessary to become an engineer of whom he could be proud. On my own, I became president
of the Environment Club, organizing technical site visits and meetings regarding
environmental engineering for freshmen students. 
One day, my supervisor told me about a non-profit organization named Cekul of which he
was a member. I was impressed with the group's activities. Cekul's main activity is a
tree-planting campaign called Seven Trees. The idea for the campaign comes from the
assumption that the average person consumes almost seven trees for his or her needs
annually. 
I decided to organize a planting day with Cekul. We have rent a bus and went to the
decided planting are together with forty-five students. There were also small kids of
ages between eight to fifteen associated with Cekul representatives. When I asked who
they were, I am informed that they were the participants of one of the other Cekul
activities named " Education for our future". Main purpose of the program is to educate
children of poor families who can not afford to take preparatory courses for college
and/or university entrance exams. At that day we have planted 650 trees and named the
little forest as our Club's forest. 
I was impressed with Cekul's activities and decided to work at Cekul as a volunteer
especially for the education program. While working with cekul , I have also learned
about their other activities such as restoration of historical houses. 
I have noticed that Cekul is the place to make one of my childhood dreams come true. 
I spent much of my childhood moving around Turkey because my father was an officer in the
Turkish army. The perspective and insight gained during that time have been significant
factors in my personal development. 
In the early 1980's, there was a great deal of political unrest in Turkey, and security
was a major issue for citizens. For a time, we attended school in the company of
soldiers. I attended three different primary schools because my family moved so often. 
We stayed in least developed towns of Eastern Turkey. People were suffering from
unemployement as a result welfare. My classmates were from poor families who could hardly
speak Turkish and could not afford to get school uniforms even hardly afford to receive
basic human needs such as medicine, food, education to survive. Those regions were much
affected by the unpredictable economic conditions and terorism present in Turkey in those
days. 
Because of this instability, the quality of my education suffered. Yet I was well aware
that I would need to study hard in order to succeed in life. With my determination and
perseverance, I did well in my college and university entrance exams, winning admission
to one of the best colleges in Ankara and to university in Istanbul. 
With our luck and ambition, we succeeded in receiving the best education possible, but I
knew first hand the difficult lives these children were facing. Early in life, I vowed to
help the people if I was ever able to do so. Knowing about the facts of Turkey as a well
educated and a loyal Turkish youngman., I am feeling responsible for those people 
I started allocating approximately six hours at the weekeneds educating those kids.
Giving them mathematics, physics and chemistry lectures. I took the responsibility of two
kids who were at the age of ten and eleven years old. We targeted to make them pass
through the private college entrance exam that will be governmentally sponsored all
through their education life. 
After a seven months of period we succeeded. They entered the colleges. This summer they
are going to graduate from high school. I not only lectured them but also became their
brother by listening their problems and trying to solve them. We also went to picnics and
arranged city sight seeing tours to make them also socially strong citizens. Cekul became
the chance I needed to honor my vow. 
I consider helping these two kids to be my most significant personal accomplishment to
date. 
As one of our famous poets Nazim Hikmet mentioned; 
"Karanliktan sikayet edecegine bir mum da sen yak" 
"Do not complain about the darkness, instead add a candle". My candles are still burning.

3-WHAT WOULD MY CLASSMATES BENEFIT? 
My goal upon finishing my graduate studies was to obtain a position in a large
corporation. I received and accepted an offer from Koc Holding, a diversified
conglomerate, and began my professional career as a project engineer at the Energy and
Environment group headquarters. I believe that the perseverance and determination that
enabled me to attain these goals are positive values that I can demonstrate to my
classmates by setting a good example. In addition, I can share my experiences in
successfully motivating others by discussing the Environment Club that I founded while at
university. 
In terms of software applications, I am very skill full at word, excel, power point and
many other programs. Because of my big expertise, I am always asked to prepare
presentations to be made for almost every meetings. Although we have an information
center at the heaquaters I am asked to solve the problems occurred with the Pcs first. 
In the workplace, I have learned how to function successfully despite unpredictable
social, economical and cultural conditions. I played a crucial role in my company's new
line of business regarding lignite-fired thermal power plants during the process of
energy privatization. I have worked not only on the environmental end but also on the
legislative and economical end of those projects in order to gain a big picture of
privatization. The insight into unpredictable emerging market issues and especially the
energy sector privatization development in Turkey that I have gained through these
experiences is valuable and unique, and I look forward to sharing it with my classmates.

In the course of these experiences, I have worked with many different people; this has
helped me to develop strong communication skills. I am able to express myself well by
adapting my communication style to specific people or audiences. My communication skills
might be helpful in moderating group discussions or disagreements. 
And as a successful project engineer, I have represented my company at various meetings
in London, Germany and the United States, which is unusual for someone in his first years
at a Turkish company. I am very proud of what I have accomplished so far, and I look
forward to sharing my experiences handling these responsibilities with my classmates. 
The Case Study method used at XXX School may be a new challenge for some candidates;
however, I encountered this method during my professional certificate program. I found
several successful strategies, such as active participation and thorough preparation,
investigating the case from many perspectives. I believe my experiences will be very
helpful to my classmates. 
As a result, I may bring my unusual work background from a developing country, my
experience working with groups, and my energetic and adaptable personality. 
SIGNIFICANT LEADERSHIP ROLE 
In 1997, the Turkish Ministry of Energy and Natural Resources tendered the transfer of
the operating rights of Kangal, a lignite-fired, 450 megawatts thermal power plant, to a
consortium comprised of Koc Holding A.S., Demir Export A.S., NRG Energy, Peabody Holding
Company and Egem Energy A.S.. It is my work on this first-ever energy privatization
project which has been my greatest professional achievement. 
The development of this energy business project has been handled by our energy and
environment group. I started working within the environmental task team formed by the
consortium members early on in the project. Our main task has been to establish the scope
of environmental activities for which the consultants would tender. The coordination of
refurbishment activities has become my main responsibility due to my technical expertise
in environmental issues. Specifically, my duties have included defining the current
environmental status of the plant and the surrounding area as well as defining the areas
requiring refurbishment; obtaining required documentation and permission from the Turkish
Electricity Authority, interviewing on-site personnel and providing Turkish-English
translations, organizing consultant work schedules, accommodations, and transportation,
gathering information and creating presentations to consortium members in London and
Istanbul, and attending meetings with lenders comprised of Overseas Private Investment
Corporation and World Bank in Washington, D.C. 
To achieve these responsibilities, I have had to utilize many managerial skills, work
hard, analyze situations from many perspectives, plan and respond in a timely manner,
lead and motivate people and enabling people aware about the importance of the
environmental issues. 
Because I have been able to achieve these duties, my colleagues and supervisors have
increased their trust in me. As a result, I am now delegated to work on several aspects
of the project including legislative and financial issues. I have become one of the
contact people and company representatives in internal and external meetings among
consortium members and investment institutions. Through this project, I have had a chance
to gain important international experience and also to improve my verbal and written
communication skills both in Turkish and English.
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Critique 
Click Here for the Edited Version. 
Dear XXX, 
You answered the questions vividly and comprehensively, so my major concern was to
tighten up the pieces. The weakest points involved content: the introduction to the first
essay, for instance, had too much information, and read like a long list of images that
are best made apparent through the narrative itself (more on this later). I've taken
extensive notes on these and other more substantial changes, so you will find there a
lengthier explanation of this point. 
In terms of structure, the only major adjustment was the elimination of subheadings. As I
mention in the notes, American admissions officers -- or, for that matter, American
readers in general -- are usually looking for evidence of the ability to compose a formal
essay where the ideas flow smoothly one into the next. In other words, unlike business
briefings, where dividing the text into subsections allows the reader to easily pick out
the passage containing a certain kind of information, in this type of essay (where you
are attempting to construct a persuasive argument), it is to your advantage to substitute
subheadings with well-constructed transitions (I've done that throughout the essay). 
With all three essays, I condensed the conclusions somewhat substantially. 
In each of the texts it seemed like you were off to a good start but sort of ran out of
breath towards the end -- the essays petered out rather than ending with a bang. Since
they involved very different types of changes, I've written more about these alterations
in the notes. 
Elsewhere, rather than making radical (and unnecessary) structural changes, I
concentrated on refining your language, highlighting your most interesting points, and
making the logic of your ideas stand out clearer. Many of these changes are quite subtle,
but they have a powerful impact on the overall flow of the pieces. 
I rephrased passages that contained awkward English, eliminated phrases or sentences that
seemed extraneous or repetitive, and varied the vocabulary to render the text more lucid
and vivid. I also varied the length of sentences, in order to make the rhythm of the text
more interesting (HINT: Avoid starting too many sentences with I; instead, try adding
more transitional phrases like Additionally, or inserting clauses before the pronoun: In
1999, I began to work...) 
Here and there I also found sections where your writing was either too vague or abstract,
or where transitional passages were too abrupt (or lacking). I've made a few notes here
below about a few specific changes where I chose new phrasing based on context. 
I've organized the notes by paragraph -- the number after each P refers to the order of
the *original* placement of the paragraph. 
ESSAY 1 
P1. These are strong and vivid images with which to begin an essay, but the list format
is not recommended: admissions officers will be far more impressed if you can seamlessly
weave these images into the text. So I condensed the listings and modified the format
into paragraph form. 
P2. When you say that at fifteen you decided to focus on environmental studies, does it
mean that at that time you entered university (as an undergraduate)? There is no mention
of your college years -- instead you delve into your Master's right at the third
paragraph -- so you might want to make that experience more explicit in the second
paragraph, mentioning, for instance, exactly where you attended university. 
P3 and P4 
These two paragraphs were both short and related, so I condensed them into a single
paragraph (having too many paragraphs can make an essay seem choppy and digressive). 
P5 and P6 
When you mention Koc Holding as the first and biggest diversified conglomerate, do you
mean the first and biggest in Turkey? I assumed this was the case and added Turkey, but
be sure to change the passage if that's not the case (for instance, if it's Europe/Asia's
first and biggest, or the world's). 
As with the previous passage, it made sense to combine these two paragraphs. 
P8 & P9 
The phrase appropriate solutions is awkwardly vague. How about adaptable? 
Built transition from P8 to P9 and consolidated. 
P 10 and P11 
Consolidated 
Once you have written out the school's full name, you can refer to it simply as XXX. 
P13 
Very redundant. You have already said most of these things. I eliminated the paragraph. 
P14 
You sound like a brochure. I'll just incorporate the alumni network and student group
info into the body of the text in the previous paragraph (P12). 
P15, P16 
Again, these paragraphs don't add much to the essay. It's better to end with a solid
conclusion than simply to peter out, so I condensed the section. 
ESSAY 2 
P1 
The first sentence was very unclear; I rephrased it -- basically, simplifying the
structure -- to clarify the meaning. 
Add year of the earthquake. 
P4 
We have rent a bus Who is we? I assumed it was your Cekul co-workers and you. 
P5 
I was impressed with Cekul's activities. Watch out for redundant phrases -- you had used
the exact same phrase in P3. 
The sentence While working with Cekul, I have also learned about their other activities
such as restoration of historical houses is interesting, but it detracts from the
narrative, so I eliminated it. 
P7 and P8 
Consolidated 
P8 
You might want to clarify the phrase families who could hardly speak Turkish, because a
lot of people outside Turkey are unaware of your country's diversity. What language(s) do
these family speak? 
P12 
educating those kids. It's unclear: are you referring to the Cekul kids? I've assumed
that was the case. 
The meaning of the last sentence was also a bit unclear -- exactly what are those
examinations for? This is how I interpreted the passage: I also took two kids, ages ten
and eleven, under my wings with the goal of helping them pass the private college
entrance exam that would qualify them to receive government sponsorship for their entire
education. 
P16 
This might be painful, but I eliminated the last paragraph -- the poet's saying. It is,
no doubt, a beautiful saying, but so many students end (or begin) their essays this way
that it has become cliche. By ending with the current section -- stating simply that
helping these two kids was your greatest accomplishment -- leaves the reader with a
strong, lasting impression of your character and sense of commitment. 
ESSAY 3 
P1 
Talk in the future sense: it's more assertive. Say I will instead of I can. 
P2 
The names of computer applications should be capitalized. 
P3 
Economical and economic have slightly different meaning -- when referring to the economy,
use economic. 
P8 
Again, I removed the section heading and worked in a transition, tying your
qualifications to your leadership experience and thereby rendering the essay a seamless,
well-constructed text. 
When including several complex clauses in a list, it's best to use semi-colons instead of
commas. 
The result is three essays that reveal clear thinking, a unique background, and a keen
determination to succeed. Good job, and best of luck in the admissions process -- you
have picked a fascinating track within the business world. 
Best regards 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edited Essay:
EssayEdge significantly improves each essay using the same voice as the author. The only
way to evaluate editing is to compare the original essay to the edited version. We
significantly improve essays for both clients who write poorly and for clients who write
exceptionally well.
ESSAY 1
Turkish news nowadays carry vivid images which have become terrifyingly commonplace: the
surface of the sea littered with dead sheep; a landfill explosion leading to a number of
deaths; vendors offering radiation-contaminated tea for half-price; a little girl's death
resulting from her fall through an open sewage manhole in her schoolyard; radioactive
waste sold to unsuspecting scrap dealers; a twenty-year-old tanker breaking into pieces,
spilling hundreds of tons of crude oil into the ocean and killing sea life all around.
The frequency with which these environmental disasters fill Turkish news broadcasts --
along with the obvious insensitivity of the authorities towards both environment and
health issues -- prompted me to learn about ways to prevent these types of disasters. At
the age of fifteen, I decided to focus my studies on environmental sciences in order to
equip myself with the technical tools I would need to make a real contribution.
After earning a Master's degree in environmental sciences, I completed a professional
international management certificate program in order to gain a management perspective of
the field. I then realized that, in order to effectively combine my technical knowledge
and management skills, I needed to accumulate real-world experience. Specifically,
working at a large company would allow me to develop insight into various industries, as
well as an overarching vision of the international business arena.
I have now worked for nearly two years in the energy and environment group of Koc
Holding, Turkey's first and biggest diversified conglomerate. As a project engineer, I am
mainly responsible for our holding companies' environment and energy sector investments.
This position has given me the opportunity to interact with businessmen from all over the
world, thereby expanding my international perspective. Because of my outstanding work
performance, I was chosen to attend various meetings with local and international
governmental bodies such as OPIC, IFC, and the World Bank. It is highly unusual for a
young associate to represent the company at such events, and my self-confidence -- as
well as my management skills -- was further enhanced by that successful experience.
While working in various business lines, including the automotive industry, consumer
durables, and the energy sector, I have realized that the root cause of many
environmental problems is financial. I believe that many people in the environmental
sector are so ignorant or insensitive that they will cheat customers to increase profits.
Furthermore, businesses do not prioritize environmental investments; as a result,
insufficient funds are allocated to adequately prevent problems. For instance, despite a
population over eight million people, Istanbul -- Turkey's largest city -- still lacks a
properly operating sewage system. In most of the areas of the city, waste water is
discharged directly into the Bosphorus.
In the long term, I hope to help solve my country's problems by starting my own
environmental-services business in Turkey. The company will serve both local and
international customers by providing cost-effective, adaptable solutions ranging from
waste management to safety management. In order to accomplish this goal, however, I must
deepen my knowledge of the field. Despite my experience, I still lack some important
knowledge and management skills, especially in finance, marketing, and entrepreneurship.
I am also aware that my knowledge of American environmental issues is insufficient. Since
dealing with aspects of international business will be an integral part of my job as an
entrepreneur, it is essential that I fill in these gaps.
The XXX School's MBA program is the perfect bridge from where I am to where I want to be.
I am attracted by the inventiveness and uniqueness of its entrepreneurial and finance
programs, and believe that I will increase my practical knowledge of entrepreneurship by
interacting with my classmates. I value the fact that at XXX entrepreneurial education
does not stop at the classroom, but rather continues through internships and
extracurricular activities. I feel that a business school for entrepreneurs should
balance a dose of theory with real-world application, and XXX's curriculum and hands-on
experiences through associations, internships, and the management field study provide
such balance.
I am also drawn to XXX because of the school's emphasis on teamwork and technology,
reflected by such exciting courses and programs as High Technology Entrepreneurship,
International Finance, 12-week field application projects, and the global immersion
program directed to teach global thinking and global action. Additionally, the school's
profusion of student groups and its flexible entrepreneurial program -- with electives
from 200 courses -- will allow me to tailor my course of study directly to my career
interests. It is precisely this flexibility that I plan to draw on while at XXX and
beyond, by taking advantage of (and contributing to) the school's strong international
alumni network.
Above all, a XXX MBA will help me strengthen both the finance knowledge and the
entrepreneurial skills necessary to secure a position as an environmental specialist in a
multinational American-based firm. Such a position, in turn, will prepare me to
accomplish my long-term ambition of building my own company. By developing and maximizing
the technical knowledge and managerial skills I have already accumulated, XXX will allow
me to ultimately make a concrete and substantial contribution to Turkey's environment.
ESSAY 2
For one of my undergraduate classes, I was once asked to select a project to work on with
a supervisor whose interests matched my own. I had chosen to study with the Head of the
University's Environmental Engineering Department on a project entitled Environmental
Risk Assessment of Hazardous Materials. After an earthquake disaster hit Turkey in ____,
causing approximately 30,000 deaths, the country's State Planning Organization used the
model we developed in this project to determine the risks posed by materials spilled
around the region devastated by the earthquake.
In addition to working with me on my project, my supervisor also provided me with other
important assistance. Not only did he teach me about the issue at hand, he also shared
with me the practical experiences he had accumulated during the course of both his
professional career and his personal life. His main goal was to shape his students into
well-educated and socially active engineers with strong personal and professional ethics.
He took me to many seminars, fairs, and conferences in order to give me the background
necessary to become an engineer of whom he could be proud. I followed his example through
personal initiatives such as becoming president of the Environment Club, through which I
organized technical site visits and meetings on environmental engineering for first-year
students.
One day, my supervisor told me about Cekul, a non-profit organization of which he was a
member. I was impressed with the group's activities. Cekul's main activity is a
tree-planting campaign called Seven Trees. The idea for the campaign comes from the
assumption that the average person consumes almost seven trees for his or her needs
annually.
I decided to organize a planting day with Cekul. My co-workers and I rented a bus for the
forty-five students involved. At the planting site there were also children and teenagers
present -- participants of a Cekul a program called Education for Our Future, meant to
educate children of families who cannot afford preparatory courses for college and
university entrance exams. Together we planted 650 trees in one day.
Finding the work immensely gratifying, I decided to volunteer to work with Cekul's
education program. I soon discovered that at Cekul I could finally realize one of my
childhood dreams.
I spent much of my childhood moving around Turkey because my father was an officer in the
Turkish army. The perspective and insight gained during that time have been significant
factors in my personal development. In the early 1980's, for instance, there was a great
deal of political unrest in Turkey, and security was a major issue for citizens. For a
while, we children attended school in the company of soldiers. As if all the commotion
were not enough, I went to three different primary schools because my family moved so
often.
My father's postings coincided with the least developed towns of Eastern Turkey. Those
regions were severely affected by the unpredictable economic conditions and terrorism
rampant in Turkey in those days. Unemployment was soaring, and a substantial proportion
of the population had to subsist on welfare. My classmates came largely from poor
families who spoke little Turkish and could not afford to purchase school uniforms, let
alone basic necessities like medicine and food.
Because of the instability, the quality of my own education suffered as well. Yet I
realized early on that I would need to study hard in order to succeed in life. Through
determination and perseverance, I did well on the university entrance exams and was
offered admission by one of Ankara's best colleges, as well as by a university in
Istanbul.
It was no easy task acquiring a top-notch education, and I knew first-hand the
difficulties faced by children. I have always felt a need to help others; now, as an
educated man, I feel even more responsible towards those less fortunate than myself.
Years ago I started allocating approximately six hours each weekend to tutoring Cekul
kids in mathematics, physics, and chemistry. I also took two kids, ages ten and eleven,
under my wing with the goal of helping them pass the private college entrance exam that
would qualify them to receive government sponsorship for their entire education.
After seven months of hard work, we succeeded. The two kids entered the program, and this
summer they are going to graduate from high school. I tried to shore up their academic
foundations with personal support -- by playing a brotherly role, listening to their
problems and guiding them towards solutions. We organized picnics and arranged city
sightseeing tours to make them socially conscious citizens.
Cekul, in short, turned out to be the opportunity that I had been looking for to honor my
vow. I do not hesitate in pointing to these two kids' success as my most significant
personal accomplishment to date.
ESSAY 3
My goal, upon finishing my graduate studies, was to obtain a position in a large
corporation. I received and accepted an offer from Koc Holding, a diversified
conglomerate, and began my professional career as a project engineer at the company's
Energy and Environment group headquarters. I believe that the same perseverance and
determination that enabled me to attain these goals will allow me to contribute my unique
background to XXX's dynamic student body. In addition, I will share with my fellow
students my unusual experiences, such as founding an Environment Club while at college,
while drawing on my proven ability to motivate others towards a common goal.
I have also acquired specific, practical skills that will allow me to pool my resources
with those of fellow students. I am quite skillful with several software applications
(including Word, Excel, and Powerpoint). At my company, I am often asked to prepare
presentations at meetings. Although we have an information center at the headquarters,
coworkers frequently come to me first when they encounter problems with their PCs.
My adaptability skills come in handy even in the workplace: I have learned to function
smoothly despite unpredictable social, economic, and cultural conditions. During the
process of energy privatization, I played a crucial role in my company's new line of
business regarding lignite-fired thermal power plants. I have worked both on the
environmental end and on the legislative and economic ends of those projects in order to
gain a big picture of privatization. The insight that these experiences have given me
into unpredictable emerging market issues -- and especially the energy sector
privatization in Turkey -- has proved invaluable, and I look forward to sharing it with
my classmates.
Over the course of these experiences, I have worked with many different people, which has
strengthened my communication skills. I am able to express myself well by adapting my
communication style to specific people or audiences. I have no doubt that these abilities
will come in useful in moderating group discussions or disagreements. After all, as a
successful project engineer, I have represented my company at various meetings in London,
Germany, and the United States -- a range of experiences rather unusual for someone in
his first years at a Turkish company.
The Case Study method used at XXX School may pose new challenges for some candidates; I,
however, became familiar with this method during my professional certificate program. By
investigating each case from multiple perspectives, I discovered (and subsequently
applied) several successful strategies, including active participation and thorough
preparation. I believe my experiences will be very helpful to my classmates.
In addition to this unusual work background and energetic disposition, I will be bringing
to the campus a strong taste for, and vast experience with, leadership roles.
In 1997, for example, the Turkish Ministry of Energy and Natural Resources tendered the
transfer of the operating rights of Kangal -- a lignite-fired, 450-megawatt thermal power
plant -- to a consortium comprised of Koc Holding A.S., Demir Export A.S., NRG Energy,
Peabody Holding Company and Egem Energy A.S.. My work on this pioneering energy
privatization project is my greatest professional achievement to date.
Our energy and environment group has handled the development of this energy business
project. I started working within the environmental task team formed by the consortium
members early on in the project. Our main task has been to establish the scope of
environmental activities for which the consultants would tender. Due to my technical
expertise in environmental issues, the coordination of refurbishment activities has
become my main responsibility. Specifically, my duties have included defining the current
environmental status of the plant and the surrounding area as well as defining the areas
requiring refurbishment; obtaining required documentation and permission from the Turkish
Electricity Authority; interviewing on-site personnel and providing Turkish-English
translations; organizing consultant work schedules, accommodations, and transportation;
gathering information and creating presentations to consortium members in London and
Istanbul; and attending meetings with lenders comprised of the Overseas Private
Investment Corporation and the World Bank.
In order to effectively attain these goals, I have had to combine several managerial
skills, hard work, thorough analysis, careful planning, timely response, and the ability
to lead and motivate co-workers, increasing people's awareness of environmental issues.
Because I have been able to achieve these duties, my colleagues and supervisors have
placed a great deal of trust in me. As a result, I am now delegated to work on several
aspects of the project, including legislative and financial issues. I have become one of
the contact people and company representatives in internal and external meetings among
consortium members and investment institutions. Through this project, I have had a chance
to gain important international experience, and to improve my verbal and written
communication skills both in Turkish and English. By combining the experience I have
gained through this project with the other skills I have accumulated, I will bring to the
campus unique perspectives and an innovative way of thinking